Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
