WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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