I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize