I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
