whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
