I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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