I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
