i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
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well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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