so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
