the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
