oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
