I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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