I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
