You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
