You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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