Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
how does that bad decision feel?
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