btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
