he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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