im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
