We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
