i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
