So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
