dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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