Welp...herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
