Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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