y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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