Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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