You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize