DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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