In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
