party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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