I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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