sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
