That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
