dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
