OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
