it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
