Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
