he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
