One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
They are going to name an STD after you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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