they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
