I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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