We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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