I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
