Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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