The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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