The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We need to get me chipped asap
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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