im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
