Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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