this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
