I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
