physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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