mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She's JV to your varsity
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
