You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
