dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
