Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was like eating out sand paper
im holly from the hills drunk
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
