I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
