After last night, I could never be a politician.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
