at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
