RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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