I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
