I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
