theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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