took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Acid is not a monday night drug
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
