You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Pooping to opera.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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