Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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